halloween

basically the only reason i blog is because i have cute new pictures. so here they go.

halloween is the best.

blog world, meet winston.

my new dog.

i love him, and you will too.

(he only has to wear the cone for a little while)

ooh baby BABY!

whoa. let me just say. quite a few things have happened since my last blog.

witnessed child birth (july 10th).

hello beautiful perfection.

i didn't know i could love something so much that i'd only known really for 2 weeks.

i mean, i'm obsessed with this kid. seeing her grown in lakresha's stomach, watching her be born, seeing how much she's grown in the week i've been gone, all of these things are amazing.

watching such intense growth, it's quite remarkable.

i just love her so much. i want to be with her every day. i want to show her how much i love her. i want her to really feel how much her heavenly FATHER loves her, even if her earthly father is a punk. i don't want her to ever feel sad about that. even though i know she will.

i saw her today after being gone for 8 days. i was so excited, it was like i'd been gone for a month. she is precious to me. and to the lord. i just so strongly desire for her to know that.

i was at kamp the last week and watched a couple that had an 11 month old baby. i watched how that precious little girl loved her earthly father. he obviously means so much to her. my baby girl doesn't have that. it made me sad. i just pray that she would not feel such a void. that she would feel a physical love from her Father in heaven. oh baby khynaria, i love you.

i went to my first African wedding (July 19)

HELLO AMAZING.

one of my favorite African things I've attended. it was so precious to see the community come together. and the outfits were fun. and singing and dancing. plus precious children, all whom i love dearly. jeanine (perfect young lady, i talk about her a lot),

her dad got married.

also his dad.

i mean, i want you to be my child. son of the groom. beautifullllll

here comes the kicker. happy 22 to me, happy one year papa.

this has been the longest year of my entire life. the most trying and awful year i've ever experienced. i tried to ignore my birthday, it doesn't bring such great memories anymore. i don't feel like i dealt with it this year, but i think that's okay, sometimes it just hurts too much. i didnt talk to anyone about it except for my mom, but i knew what that day was. when i realize that it's been a whole year, it still makes me want to vomit. i think that will pass in time, i just can't believe it's been a year. a year is a long time. i have never been so broken and so fallen apart. i've been humbled and had the wind knocked out of me countless times.

but ya know what, i made it. i made it a year without him. i never would have thought i could do it. i have never missed anyone so much, i have never longed for a conversation so much, but the Lord has given me a strength i could not have envisioned for myself. but i still just miss him, so much. as much as i hate that i've lived a whole year of my life without him, now i feel like i can move on. i feel freed by it. which i guess is a good thing.

July 31 (in 4 days), 504 is falling apart. minus me and soph. as much i love them (we did our champagne toast tonight), i feel like i cannot move on while living in this house. i have too many memories. i think a new environment will allow for more growth, at least i hope anyways. but hey, now i can move on with my life.

here's to a new season of life, and to FINALLY letting go and moving on.

trust.

well blog, it's been a while.

i haven't really had much to say. i've been up to quite a lot.

-i've taken a summer school class. given it a very lousy effort. but hey, C's get degrees, and i'm a super senior, what do they expect?? it ends thursday. i haven't gone since last thursday. oopsie!!

-i've lost the ability to stay up late. i get so tired. i am happier when i go to bed earlier. which doesn't really work with my summer schedule.

-hence, i am no longer a barista. peace out dunn brothers, hello unemployment (i gladly welcome you.)

-summer is almost half way over, whoa.

only 4 weeks left in 504.

504 for life.

-then come july 31, me and soph move in with this hottie.

she's the best.

-i'm about to become a god mother (the one in the middle is being induced wednesday morning)

i cannot even tell you how much i love that unborn baby girl. i feel so blessed to be in her life and cannot wait to FINALLY meet her.

-i'm in the process of raising $24,000 for the year of 2010 and years beyond. so i can do things like this, all the day long. i could not be more excited.

and so i can love on precious little girls like these

the lord is teaching me how to really trust him with things, and it's kind of exciting. it's kind of a new thing. trusting God in all areas of my life (finances. whoa. who woulda thunk). it's a learning process. i have felt so incredibly blessed by the people in my life that are supporting me, it humbles me and and making me really understand what it feels like to be blessed by the Lord. (i've always thought that sounded so cliche, but now i understand what it is like)

life is looking sunny.

-mary katherine.

I WANT A CAKE

let me just preface this story: jeanine loves to call me on the phone. she thinks it hilarious.


(jeanine=child on the right.)

so she has my phone number memorized. she loves calling me. i love it when she calls me, it is the highlight of my day. literally. its hilarious.

so most of the time i answer. tonight i couldn't because i was at young life. so it went to voicemail. jeanine gets confused by voicemail. i often get 2 minute long voice mails of nothing but african chatter.

sometimes, when all the african kids get together, they give me a little prank call. or if jeanine is on the phone with me, one of them will usually grab it and start chatting.

apparently tonight. john had something in mind. (keep in mind this goes for 41 seconds). picture it in little precious african accents.


jeanine:


hello?

hello?(african rambling)

OOHGA

yadeezma

HEY
HEY
AYE
ahhhhhh


john:


MARY KATE
i want a cake my name is john
i want a cake and a hamburger (he told me his name was hamburger once, so i keep calling him hamburger)
(blah blah blah. its all an african blur)
I WANT A COOKIE CAKE

click.

i very much wish i could put it up on my blog. because it is the most precious and hilarious thing you've ever heard.

let me just say this: i love my life. these children add so much joy and laughter.

early this morning: "yeah, mary kate. this is andy from dunn brothers. you were supposed to be in at 5:30 (am), and it's 8:15"

crap. this is just the story of my life. let me just tell you what my life is like right now:



okay, just picture yourself driving on the highway, (I-70 to KC preferable. this is where this analogy came to me) in the rain, behind/next to a semi. you are trying to pass it, but the rain just keeps getting worse. you know you'll be past it soon, but as you get closer the rain just gets worse and worse. it's probably not totally safe to be this close to a semi, but you do it anyways. if somebody was in the car with you, they would probably become nervous. all of this to be said, you know you will get around it and the rain will subside, but in the mean time, it's pretty nerve-wracking. you could pretty easily fall off the road or smash into the semi. you have to pass the semi though. you have to or else you will never get where you are going. but you think it will be okay.

i hope that you all know the situation i am referring to (hopefully im not just a bad driver)
once you pass the semi, the most overwhelming sense of safety overcomes you. but until that moment, its probably a little dangerous.

this situation is how i would sum up my life right now. its raining. there are little moments of clear, while passing a semi, but then i come up to another semi. over all, its a rough drive. i know that it will end, i just have to endure it. anybody that really knew what it was like in the passenger seat be a little nervous, but i think i'll be ok. (good thing i'm single. HA!)

so. all this being said: if im a little down, just wait until may 11th. my drive will be much clearer. then wait until december 18th. then my drive will be home free. i will have arrived!!!


HORRAY! there is hope. i know they said that you shouldn't wish your life away, but i just don't believe them. (this might not seem like it, but it was meant to be a more hopeful post.)

-mary kate katherine.

some things i know

1. this cut hurts a lot more than you would think. freakin coffee grinder at work. my hand started gushing blood. it was sick.

and now it keeps bleeding, again and again.

2. i love having my 9:30 class canceled.
3. i like sitting in my bed doing research (actually blogging, while i should be doing research). it's way better than sitting in a hard chair.
4. i like cake (and eating it for breakfast).
5. i wish i could just wake up and have coffee ready for me. no preparing. that would make my mornings way more pleasant.
6. i like william fitzsimmons. you should too (thank you phil)
7. i am REALLY sick of group papers. (fml?)
8. i am ready for may 11th at about 3:000
9. i am excited for next fall.
10. i graduate on december 18th at 6:00 pm. glory glory hallelujah.
11. this is jeff.


he was getting his tramp stamp removed.
ahahhahahaha.
12. if you leave iced tea on the counter for a while, uncovered, it will get mold on the top. who knew?!


okay, that's all i got.
-mary kate

glory glory halleluiah

please watch this.
two of my favorite things
AMAZING!

here is something i have noticed about myself after the death of my grandpa:

it has sort of changed who i am. of course, i am still me. but it has immensely changed a lot of the desires that i have. i'm not really sure who to be. i've lost a large part of me.

example: photography. ever since i can remember, i have LOVED photographing the moments in life, nearly every moment. i took photo classes all thru high school and one in college.
over the last 9 months, i have only taken like, 500 pictures. (that might seem like a lot, but for me, it's not) about 400 of those were of granny's house kids. i went to san francisco and took 26 pictures with my fancy schmancy camera. the old me would have taken hundreds. the only thing i still take pictures of is kids, because that has NO connection to him. it doesn't remind me of him. everything else does.

it's interesting, because my grandpa was one of my FAVORITE things to photograph. i used him for countless school photography projects. 2 weeks before he died we went to Michigan. i must have taken 200 pictures of him alone. he was fascinating to me.
i think it's just become a little jaded. its like, so many times, his face was the one i saw when i looked through. and now it's gone, and nothing really matches up to it.

capturing anyone in that moment won't keep them there forever. nothing can. capturing the moment doesn't seem as special to me anymore, because the moment disappears anyways.

not to be a debbie downer. but tonight, lacy asked me about the picture's i'd taken in san francisco. i've been thinking about this (and other changes) a lot lately and felt like processing it. i dont want to do it aloud, so here i blog. i've also been up since 5am and am going on about 4 hours of sleep, so i might seem slightly emo.

on a happier note:
i haven't seen this mother trucker for almost a year. (my brother joe)



and i get to see him in like, 1 WEEK!
and i am very excited about it.

that's all i got for now. i'll put up the few pictures i have soon.
--mary kate

killing the blues.

so here are a few things i've been doing lately whenever i get a little down:

1. go here. the granny's house blog. the most recent post is about jeanine. my little angel child.

2. look at my fridge. there is a most precious picture colored by ^^ jeanine. come over and i'll show you. tis beautiful.

3. watch "im on a boat"

4. think about spring break. only like, 2 weeks away. san fran and napa. yes puhlease.

5. listen to kelly clarkson, my life would suck without you. doesnt really apply to my life, but i love it.

6. listen to indelible grace. wake thy slumbering child. beautiful.

7. cry? effective. but causes other problems.

8. think about the fact that spring is almost here. but then get sad when it isn't really here.

9. think about decemeber. when i will be free. finally. holy sweet lord. come fast.


10. my favorite one. go to bed early. tonight it's 11:15. this is a later evening. i havent gone to bed past midnight in like, 2 weeks. it's beautiful.
it's amazing how much better i feel the next day. but i feel anti-social. i miss quite a bit of hang out time.

so tonight. none of the above have worked. so i'm doing the last one. peace.
-mary kate

(you guys should all go read the granny's house blog. only because jeanine is the cutest. then you can hear someone else rant about how fabulous she really is. so you will know i'm not making it up)

perez

something a little funny.


granny's house. on perez.
what the hay?!

i emailed perez to see how he found out about us. so we shall see if he emails back. i will be a little disappointed in him if he doesn't

-mary kate

my valentines.

these were my valentines this year.

probs.

here are my current issues:

-there is fly buzzing around in my room.
-it's huge. i can't get it out.
-i dont want to kill it. that's gross
-i can't shoo it out the door because...
-i have my bedroom door shut and locked. IM NOT OPENING IT.
-IM FREAKED OUT. [i watched this scary 48 hours thing. about a murder. im a wimp]
-please dont come murder me.
-no one else is home. no one else is coming home soon [elise, come home soon??]

-my right cheek is bright red. (bain. i believe it's called the asian flush?)
-it's 10 oclock. im in bed. getting ready to watch heros. [not a huge problem with me. but i feel -like other people would think its a problem]
-my right foot is frozen. (only one half of me experiences physical problems.)

-i might have melanoma. (joking. but a little serious. i have to go to the doctor. should i be worried?) i have a mysterious spot/mole/color and shape changing itchy weird looking thing on my cheek.
-don't judge.
-all of my friends are out of town (except for a few. they are all in relationships or losers.)
-my throat hurts. my chest hurts from coughing so much. even when i am not coughing i feel like i need to.
-my teeth feel dirty because i have basically only eaten candy all day. or for the last 3 days.
-it's possible that i might not survive until thursday at 10 am (thats when i get to leave and go to kc)
-i really like lists.
-i want to graduate. today.
-i did homework on a saturday night.

i'm not really complaining. but today, i have lots of things i would like to talk about and no one to talk about them with. if i had a valentine, i would tell him. but i am valentine-less. so i am blogging about these small problems.

-mary kate

i never thought i'd be on a boat

this might be the greatest thing i've ever seen.
watch it over. and over. and over.
-mary kate

spring

so many things today made me happy for spring.



let me start from the morning
-waking up and not being cold (i was even slightly joyful).
-not walking on a cold floor in the kitchen.
-wearing flip flops to class
-not having to wear a coat
-wearing my stunna shades

afternoon

-walking home from class in the most PERFECT weather ever
-driving with my windows down
-still wearing flip flops
-how happy everyone was because of the beautiful weather
-granny's house in nice weather is SO much fun
-kids playing outside
-having dirty feet after 5 seconds at granny's house in flip flops. i got my toes stepped on like, 8 times
-rowdy children (crazy, but fun)
-kids not being cold and having to wear coats and losing gloves.
-people just seemed happier overall.
-my plant growing in the living room.

evening

-driving home with my windows down. AT NIGHT!
-tulips at wal-mart
-a beautiful sunset
-RAINY EVENING!
-wearing my rain coat over to bring jeff a heating pad and meds
-hearing the rain outside my window while going to bed (will happen shortly)

basically. i love spring. i hate winter. it brings me down
i know it won't last. tomorrow it's supposed to be colder. but today, i soaked it in.




at least i know there's hope at the end of the tunnel.

revolutionary road

i just saw revolutionary rode. i can honestly say that was the most depressing two hours i've ever spent watching a movie.


don't get me wrong. it was great. very well done.
but utterly depressing.

firstly: i saw it by myself (my roommate said, "oh that's so carrie bradshaw of you!!" uh.. or loserish? independent? i think so). on a saturday night. after a long long day. already in a slightly sour mood.

second: i sort of lost faith in humanity. lost faith in suburbia. not that i had much faith in suburbia to begin with, but, either way. lost any ounce of it.

thirdly: it made life seem much more bleek. made me joyful, once again, for jesus

rotten tomato says: Brilliantly acted and emotionally powerful, Revolutionary Road is a handsome adaptation of Richard Yates' celebrated novel."
i would agree.

it's definitely no titanic.

jeanine.

so. it's been like, a long time since i blogged. so here i am.
here's a funny story for the blogging community:

this is jeanine. she is one of my favorite people. ever. top 5.
(she's the girl from the video below.)




(this is the look she frequently gives. it's like she's saying, "what the heck are you doing? i am so much cooler than you. you are crazy", but in a cute, hilarious way.)

at first, she is one of the most reserved little children. she rarely gets in a funny mood. the video is one of the few times she has consistently acted silly.

she doesn't usually look happy. but she is one the most HILARIOUS people i've ever met. when she smiles, it's like the world shines.


i mean, she lights up my life. every day. i am basically obsessed with her. i think she is perfect.

so, friday i was helping jeanine with homework (one of my favorite things to do. she gets really silly and laughs a lot.) so we are nearing the end of the homework, so she is feeling particularly silly. she is sitting on my lap, and all the sudden just lets out a huge fart and just starts cracking up.
i scream and say JEANINE!! did you do that on purpose?
of course she did. she thought it was just about the funniest thing she had ever done.

we literally laughed for 10 minutes.
and i do not thinking farting is funny. ever. this was the only time.

it was one of the funniest moments ever and i thought the blogging community would enjoy it. especially BIZ (she just got a blog).
so. i hope you laughed. probably not because i am not a funny story teller. but i hope you enjoyed the cute pictures of jeanine. because she is the cutest, ever.

love, mary katherine.