feeeeeeshy

i think this might be the coolest thing ever.

not that picture in itself, but the effect. WHOA!

today i got a fisheye lens! not the lens itself, but something i put on the end of my lens, and it makes this happen.

on wednesday i'm going to new york city. so i can take much cooler pictures. of things other than my dogs.

anyways. i'm just very excited about this.

here is my dog. to leave you all.

little pupper. he looks funny!!

okay. that's really all i have. i'll have cooler pics after sunday. more of a variety =)

-mary kate

bookling.

marta said i needed to update. and i do. so here i go




today, i got to just sit and read. for pleasure. not for class or something stupid.
i'm reading the bell jar, by sylvia plath.
it was glorious. i read for 2 hours, then took a nap.
i haven't taken a nap in foreverrr!

the next book on my list:




the unabridged journals of sylvia plath.
i'm on a sylvia plath kick. thank you emily lewis.
its a rather depressing note, but i'm enjoying it.

on a more colorful note. oscar de la renta. spring 2008. o.m.g.







check out that detail. ooh bay bay bay bay!

you guys probably don't care. but i do. and this is my blog. so there! ha.

so anyways. i was reading the bell jar, and she said something.  it isn't like this huge monumental thing, but it made me think.

she had just started hanging out with this guy and she gets envious with him talking about someone else, and she says:

"I decided to expect nothing from Buddy Willard.  If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed."

a rather sucky thought, but it's true, isn't it? i feel like i always go into situations with these high expectations.  maybe they are unrealistic, but i don't really think they are.  i think over and over again, maybe this will be the time it changes. and it never really does. thinking this one conversation is going to do the trick, or this one action is going to affect it all. and does it ever? not really. but what does? what can change things?

but when is it all going to change? when are they going to realize the destruction that they cause to themselves? when am i going to stop being such a huge brat? when will things be right?

never. and i need to just deal with it. i need to be CONTENT with situations. with my relationships with people, and their relationships with God. they aren't really the ones in control are they? it's all they know to be destructive. it's all they've ever been shown. i can't be disappointed in them if they have no clue, can i? but i continually am.  i think mostly because it breaks my heart. it makes me hurt inside to see people living in such pain. but i am i any better? do i get to look down on them because i SEEM to have it all together, when really i don't? i should be disappointed in myself, and i am.  i just don't let it show, and i try to suppress it. tell myself i am good enough. 

but it is about being good enough? i don't even know. i can't find the balance, and i am so worn out from trying. i can't expect nothing out of myself, that is not practical. i would not get anything done. but i expect too much i just beat myself up. 

but can i expect nothing out of everyone else? what state would my relationships be in? they would fall apart. or would they? but they always let me down anyways.

i guess it all boils down to really being content with where i am. such is the problem. i'm working on it. its getting better, but i think it's something we all struggle with. right now, the only thing i can see is graduation. over a year and a half away. ha! i just want to be at granny's house, every day, loving kids, having that be my real life. not having school. having the kids. loving the kids! it is such a joy! 

anyway. i'm going to go read myself to sleep. 

i'll peace out on a happy note.

what if i wore this, would you still be my friend??

tee hee hee

--mary kate

cake.

when i get stressed weird things happen.

i bake. lots of baking. i've made 2 cakes in like, 3 days. let me know if you want some cake. i've eaten too much cake.

too much cakeeeeee.

i cook, also. tonight i made a chicken, asparagus, barley dish with white wine. it was tasty.

i yell. or i cry. sorry if you've been to recipient of either of these emotions. you probably didn't deserve it. but maybe you did.

today at kaldi's i nearly had a freak out. but then i realized that life was going to be okay. but then last night, i was in a great mood.

stress= me being moody.

i apologize if you get the bad, but if you get the good, you get the food.

for spring break, i'm going to new york city.

i get to see this lovely couple.

aren't they beautifulllllll

this is my biggest brother sam, he looks very disinterested in this picture. this pretty much describes our relationship. he acts like he hates me. but really, he loves me.

sam and niki recently got engaged, so this will be the first time i see them as an engaged couple!!! i am SO excited. i have not been this excited for anything in quite a while.

it is really the only thing that is getting me through the next 5 days. because they are going to be awful.

but. this it not about complaining =)

i don't really know what else to write. so... that's all i got. especially since we all lose an hour of sleep tonight. ahhhhhh!! 

-ary may ate kay.

btw. ben folds. kc. april 5th.

come with meeeee???!??!!!

fierce.

here is a tribute. to christian siriano. project runway winner. anything to put off studying, right?

you are fabulous. and fierce.

i have the feeling i'm going to be putting a lot of pictures up here. because i like them.

whose ready for spring??!!! ME ME ME!

i'm ready for hippie shows, and front porches. and hanging out and not studying. and the sun not deceiving me, thinking its warm.

spring (break)? come here.

now.

--mary kate

love love love

so i've decided to start this blog. i'm not sure how it's going to work, but i'm gonna give it a try the last 24 hours have been some of the most memorable in quite a while. i spent last night going to see Shakespeare's romeo and juliet with some of the greatest girls in my life. one of whom has become a new woman. 

i hadn't seen her in at least 3 months, and when we last saw each other, it was not on good terms.  but she comes back, and god has graciously taken her back.  she's like a new person, he has truly redeemed her.  it is glorious.  

then i woke up this morning, with very little sleep, to go to saint louis with some of my favorite kids to see the body world exhibit.  this is one of the freakiest things i've ever seen.

i'm sure you've all (whoever the heck is reading this) heard of it, but its basically just dead bodies, with the skin off.  you can see the muscles and it is amazing.  i spent all day doing this, and it was one of the most exhausting things ever.  i was gone all day, then came home and it is great to be here.

even though i am so physically and mentally worn out, i am so encouraged.  i've been starting to line things up for after graduation (which granted, isn't for almost 2 years), and i am so confident with the direction i am heading.

after spending almost 14 out of the last 24 hours with them, i am even more confident that this is where i'm supposed to be.

so anyways. i'm tired.  so i'm going to bed at 11:30 on a saturday night

but here's to the little faces i love