wink.

its weird for me to look at my last post, and see where things are now.
for those of you that don't know, my grandpa died on tuesday of last week, the 22nd.
i cant look that last post without feeling like i'm going to throw up.
he was one of the most important people in my whole world.
he loved me in a way that reflects how Jesus loves me.

i have never experienced loss this deep. i've never hurt this badly. it is a constant pain. and i know it cannot be relieved. i didn't know i could hurt this much.
there is nothing in the entire world i can do to fix this.
i am just so deeply sad. and i feel like no one understands. except for my mom and brothers.

i dont really want to write about it. that makes it too real. and that is too hard.
i probably won't want to talk about it either.
i just felt i was due for an update.
i also had a birthday. thanks for all the phone calls and text messages and emails.
i probably didn't return them. if i did, you are one of the lucky ones.

its amazing how many people have rallied around me in this time. i have gotten so much support from all of my friends. people have been so great. so thanks for that.

i dont have anything insightful to put up.
i wish i had something positive. but im still hurting a lot. the tears wont seem to stop.
i find very bad ways of numbing myself. i just dont really know how to respond.
i havent been grieving the way i thought i would.
i don't talk about it. but i think that's okay. i dont really know though.

looking at pictures doesn't hurt, at this moment. because this can't really be happening in my head. i could just drive over to his house and he will be sitting in his chair in his bedroom or out on the porch.
he's not supposed to leave me. he's supposed to be here. to take care of me and tell me how much he loves me.

i know i'll be ok in time. because he is with Jesus. that is way better. i just miss him.
he's not in pain. it was quick. he knew we loved him.
i just don't know columbia without him. he can't really be gone.
it just doesn't seem right.
my little world has been shattered. it's interesting to see how things have been put in perspective. i know people always say that, but it has really shown me a lot. things just don't seem that important anymore.

im just not ready to let go.

miss you papa.

say yes! to m!ch!gan

i took a little family vacay to the great state of michigan.
i will now show you all about my trip.


i would like to start by showing off my brother's awesome bike hair.



finger painting.








"If the lakes took
The place of the sea
If the cars drove themselves
Way to be!
Opposite the trains moving in
Rivers run interstate, Michigan!"












(I wish i could make this bigger. but then it won't fit.)











i put up with a lot of shenangians.
i got a huge bruise on my arm. thanks to samantha.
that is my fabulous trip in a photographic nutshell.
-mk

beast?

here i am. in michigan. today i decided, "I think i'll go for a little bike ride"

no. it was not little.

i rode 16 mo freakin miles around the lake.
up a hill that was probably over a mile long.
and i am alive to tell you all about it.
i nearly died, but i did not perish.

i made it. (thanks to stronger, by britney spears. that came on just at the right moment. at the end of the monster hill)

i have limited internet access, but i felt this post was necessary.

i biked around this mofo.





i pretty much can do anything now. bring it on world. i will dominate you
more to come later. ill be back in como sunday night. let's hang.



love, a very tan/buff version of the mary loring you once knew.

oh ohhhhhhhhhhhh!

so, today was the last day of my class. my 4 week class. it's over....! horray!
which also means (my) summer is basically all over the place from now on. i've been in columbia all of june.
friday i go home, saturday i go to michigan! my favorite place in the whole world. then im back for a week, then i go to k(ids) a(cross) a(merica). then i'm back for another 5 days, then i go to young life camp.

so anyways.
i was doing a little searching today.
and i found this.





i think it's amazing. look at minute 3:31
heart wrenching. i feel like they are really in love.
some day, some man will woo me like chris brown.
i love chris brown.
this video is in honor of biz.

okay. see you all in a week and a half.

-mk

daughters of the soho riots

gahhhhhh!!!!!!

why i love comet with bleach.

okay. so i've been thinking a lot lately.

public restrooms: one of the many reasons it pays to be a dude.



let's critically think about this.
GROSS!
for girls, we have to sit where someone else just sat. and everybody knows where you are going. it's like, i'm going pee. and if we think about the act of peeing, it is not necessarily an open and appropriate thing.
and its a freaking public restroom. Ew!



toilets at homes are not as bad. but at boys houses, sometimes it's pretty gross. i have had many a conversation about this. a friend recently said, "i mean, i hate going to the bathroom there!! i'm afraid someone is going to walk in or something!"

as children, we are potty trained.
it is generally an exciting time.




i mean, these kids look so happy. the last one looks a little scared, but still cute.

however. when i was a child (sweet hair, huh?) i refused to use public restrooms.



this probably doesn't surprise most of you, but i had my own "special potty"

it looked something like that, except it was pink. when we would go on trips, i would use that potty. i would not use public restrooms. i would only use my pink potty. my mom would set it somewhere in the front of the mini-van and i would just go there. then my mom would take care of things after that.
this may explain more about me. why i am the way i am =)
ha! and i am still repulsed by public restrooms. i cringe even thinking about them.


some interesting public restrooms:





my personal favorite.
scared asian child.

there is a restroom in houston, texas. you cannot see in it, but they can see out at you.



amazing??!
i think so.


--mary kate

you said i must eat so many lemons, cause i am so bitter

(i said i'd rather be with your friends, mate, cause they are much fitter)

accents + people + singing.
equals = my favorite thing EVER.

kate nash: merry happy. nicest thing. mouthwash

lily allen: littlest things. alfie.


charlene soraia (a new discovery, thank you emily lewis): daffodils. kissing gate. i don't believe you.

kings of convenience: I'd rather dance with you. homesick. cayman islands

missy higgins: peachy. 100 round the bends.



teeheeee

jose gonzalez: heartbeats. lovestain.


regina spektor: samson. the call. summer in the city.



broken social scene: time=cause. anthems for a seventeen year old girl. shampoo suicide. pitter patter goes my heart.


feist: secret heart. the park. honey honey. how my heart behaves


new pornographers: all the old showstoppers. twin cinema. the bleeding heart show. the jessica numbers. these are the fables


yael naim: new soul. too long. toxic.



the knife: heartbeats (if you have never heard this song. listen to it NOW!). silent shout

(creepy picture)


basically not from here.
i love you.
please sing to me.

don't they just look way cooler?
i think so.

--mary kate katherine.

i am home this weekend. and one of my friends told me about this guy.
he's super awkward.

but i kinda love him.
and i really love this song.

thoughts?
-mk

ps. his name is brett dennen.

hi oh.
lately, i've been thinking a lot about the word "glorious".

dictionary.com defines glorious as:
delightful; wonderful; completely enjoyable
or
brilliantly beautiful or magnificent; splendid.

this may seem like an odd thing to be thinking about. but here goes my explanation

the situation that i have been a part of is a glorious story of redemption. it is something that can only have been done by God. he has shown me his face in a time when i needed a glimpse of him so badly.
it has involved intense humility displayed by beautiful girls who are finally understanding Jesus. they are displaying his grace and it is absolutely inspiring to witness. and the more i watch, the more glory i see. i feel like this sounds so dramatic, but it has been a really dramatic turn of events! but such an exciting thing
this is BRILLIANTLY BEAUTIFUL!
it is absolutely glorifying.
(i can tell you the whole story if you really want to know, not in blog world)


i feel like we really underestimate the power of the word glorious, or even the glory. i find myself looking for ways to give him glory, or see his glory. i guess i've been looking too hard. and sometimes its still hard to see it.

1 Peter 1:8
Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,

Philippians 3:20-21
But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

Isaiah 12:5
Sing to the LORD, for he has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world.

Ephesians 1:18
I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints.

francis schaeffer calls us a "glorious ruin"

sometimes i am not very good with my words. so to me, here are some more glorious things.


(obviously =) i had to put them somewhere. all the cute little giggles.)


















love, mary kate katherine.