mary kate boring.

halloween

2009-11-03T20:29:00.003-06:00

basically the only reason i blog is because i have cute new pictures. so here they go.

halloween is the best.

2009-08-11T23:19:00.001-05:00

blog world, meet winston.

my new dog.

i love him, and you will too.

(he only has to wear the cone for a little while)

ooh baby BABY!

2009-07-28T00:47:00.007-05:00

whoa. let me just say. quite a few things have happened since my last blog.

witnessed child birth (july 10th).

hello beautiful perfection.

i didn't know i could love something so much that i'd only known really for 2 weeks.

i mean, i'm obsessed with this kid. seeing her grown in lakresha's stomach, watching her be born, seeing how much she's grown in the week i've been gone, all of these things are amazing.

watching such intense growth, it's quite remarkable.

i just love her so much. i want to be with her every day. i want to show her how much i love her. i want her to really feel how much her heavenly FATHER loves her, even if her earthly father is a punk. i don't want her to ever feel sad about that. even though i know she will.

i saw her today after being gone for 8 days. i was so excited, it was like i'd been gone for a month. she is precious to me. and to the lord. i just so strongly desire for her to know that.

i was at kamp the last week and watched a couple that had an 11 month old baby. i watched how that precious little girl loved her earthly father. he obviously means so much to her. my baby girl doesn't have that. it made me sad. i just pray that she would not feel such a void. that she would feel a physical love from her Father in heaven. oh baby khynaria, i love you.

i went to my first African wedding (July 19)

HELLO AMAZING.

one of my favorite African things I've attended. it was so precious to see the community come together. and the outfits were fun. and singing and dancing. plus precious children, all whom i love dearly. jeanine (perfect young lady, i talk about her a lot),

her dad got married.

also his dad.

i mean, i want you to be my child. son of the groom. beautifullllll

here comes the kicker. happy 22 to me, happy one year papa.

this has been the longest year of my entire life. the most trying and awful year i've ever experienced. i tried to ignore my birthday, it doesn't bring such great memories anymore. i don't feel like i dealt with it this year, but i think that's okay, sometimes it just hurts too much. i didnt talk to anyone about it except for my mom, but i knew what that day was. when i realize that it's been a whole year, it still makes me want to vomit. i think that will pass in time, i just can't believe it's been a year. a year is a long time. i have never been so broken and so fallen apart. i've been humbled and had the wind knocked out of me countless times.

but ya know what, i made it. i made it a year without him. i never would have thought i could do it. i have never missed anyone so much, i have never longed for a conversation so much, but the Lord has given me a strength i could not have envisioned for myself. but i still just miss him, so much. as much as i hate that i've lived a whole year of my life without him, now i feel like i can move on. i feel freed by it. which i guess is a good thing.

July 31 (in 4 days), 504 is falling apart. minus me and soph. as much i love them (we did our champagne toast tonight), i feel like i cannot move on while living in this house. i have too many memories. i think a new environment will allow for more growth, at least i hope anyways. but hey, now i can move on with my life.

here's to a new season of life, and to FINALLY letting go and moving on.

trust.

2009-06-30T00:16:00.013-05:00

well blog, it's been a while.

i haven't really had much to say. i've been up to quite a lot.

-i've taken a summer school class. given it a very lousy effort. but hey, C's get degrees, and i'm a super senior, what do they expect?? it ends thursday. i haven't gone since last thursday. oopsie!!

-i've lost the ability to stay up late. i get so tired. i am happier when i go to bed earlier. which doesn't really work with my summer schedule.

-hence, i am no longer a barista. peace out dunn brothers, hello unemployment (i gladly welcome you.)

-summer is almost half way over, whoa.

only 4 weeks left in 504.

504 for life.

-then come july 31, me and soph move in with this hottie.

she's the best.

-i'm about to become a god mother (the one in the middle is being induced wednesday morning)

i cannot even tell you how much i love that unborn baby girl. i feel so blessed to be in her life and cannot wait to FINALLY meet her.

-i'm in the process of raising $24,000 for the year of 2010 and years beyond. so i can do things like this, all the day long. i could not be more excited.

and so i can love on precious little girls like these

the lord is teaching me how to really trust him with things, and it's kind of exciting. it's kind of a new thing. trusting God in all areas of my life (finances. whoa. who woulda thunk). it's a learning process. i have felt so incredibly blessed by the people in my life that are supporting me, it humbles me and and making me really understand what it feels like to be blessed by the Lord. (i've always thought that sounded so cliche, but now i understand what it is like)

life is looking sunny.

-mary katherine.

I WANT A CAKE

2009-05-06T22:46:00.005-05:00

let me just preface this story: jeanine loves to call me on the phone. she thinks it hilarious.

(jeanine=child on the right.)

so she has my phone number memorized. she loves calling me. i love it when she calls me, it is the highlight of my day. literally. its hilarious.

so most of the time i answer. tonight i couldn't because i was at young life. so it went to voicemail. jeanine gets confused by voicemail. i often get 2 minute long voice mails of nothing but african chatter.

sometimes, when all the african kids get together, they give me a little prank call. or if jeanine is on the phone with me, one of them will usually grab it and start chatting.

apparently tonight. john had something in mind. (keep in mind this goes for 41 seconds). picture it in little precious african accents.

jeanine:

hello?

hello?(african rambling)

OOHGA

yadeezma

HEY
HEY
AYE
ahhhhhh

john:

MARY KATE
i want a cake my name is john
i want a cake and a hamburger (he told me his name was hamburger once, so i keep calling him hamburger)
(blah blah blah. its all an african blur)
I WANT A COOKIE CAKE

click.

i very much wish i could put it up on my blog. because it is the most precious and hilarious thing you've ever heard.

let me just say this: i love my life. these children add so much joy and laughter.

2009-05-03T18:31:00.001-05:00

yeah. whats up t swift.

2009-04-22T09:12:00.005-05:00

early this morning: "yeah, mary kate. this is andy from dunn brothers. you were supposed to be in at 5:30 (am), and it's 8:15"

crap. this is just the story of my life. let me just tell you what my life is like right now:

okay, just picture yourself driving on the highway, (I-70 to KC preferable. this is where this analogy came to me) in the rain, behind/next to a semi. you are trying to pass it, but the rain just keeps getting worse. you know you'll be past it soon, but as you get closer the rain just gets worse and worse. it's probably not totally safe to be this close to a semi, but you do it anyways. if somebody was in the car with you, they would probably become nervous. all of this to be said, you know you will get around it and the rain will subside, but in the mean time, it's pretty nerve-wracking. you could pretty easily fall off the road or smash into the semi. you have to pass the semi though. you have to or else you will never get where you are going. but you think it will be okay.

i hope that you all know the situation i am referring to (hopefully im not just a bad driver)
once you pass the semi, the most overwhelming sense of safety overcomes you. but until that moment, its probably a little dangerous.

this situation is how i would sum up my life right now. its raining. there are little moments of clear, while passing a semi, but then i come up to another semi. over all, its a rough drive. i know that it will end, i just have to endure it. anybody that really knew what it was like in the passenger seat be a little nervous, but i think i'll be ok. (good thing i'm single. HA!)

so. all this being said: if im a little down, just wait until may 11th. my drive will be much clearer. then wait until december 18th. then my drive will be home free. i will have arrived!!!

HORRAY! there is hope. i know they said that you shouldn't wish your life away, but i just don't believe them. (this might not seem like it, but it was meant to be a more hopeful post.)

-mary kate katherine.

some things i know

2009-04-16T09:27:00.004-05:00

1. this cut hurts a lot more than you would think. freakin coffee grinder at work. my hand started gushing blood. it was sick.

and now it keeps bleeding, again and again.

2. i love having my 9:30 class canceled.
3. i like sitting in my bed doing research (actually blogging, while i should be doing research). it's way better than sitting in a hard chair.
4. i like cake (and eating it for breakfast).
5. i wish i could just wake up and have coffee ready for me. no preparing. that would make my mornings way more pleasant.
6. i like william fitzsimmons. you should too (thank you phil)
7. i am REALLY sick of group papers. (fml?)
8. i am ready for may 11th at about 3:000
9. i am excited for next fall.
10. i graduate on december 18th at 6:00 pm. glory glory hallelujah.
11. this is jeff.

he was getting his tramp stamp removed.
ahahhahahaha.
12. if you leave iced tea on the counter for a while, uncovered, it will get mold on the top. who knew?!

okay, that's all i got.
-mary kate

glory glory halleluiah

2009-04-04T09:49:00.001-05:00

please watch this.
two of my favorite things
AMAZING!

2009-04-01T23:49:00.004-05:00

here is something i have noticed about myself after the death of my grandpa:

it has sort of changed who i am. of course, i am still me. but it has immensely changed a lot of the desires that i have. i'm not really sure who to be. i've lost a large part of me.

example: photography. ever since i can remember, i have LOVED photographing the moments in life, nearly every moment. i took photo classes all thru high school and one in college.
over the last 9 months, i have only taken like, 500 pictures. (that might seem like a lot, but for me, it's not) about 400 of those were of granny's house kids. i went to san francisco and took 26 pictures with my fancy schmancy camera. the old me would have taken hundreds. the only thing i still take pictures of is kids, because that has NO connection to him. it doesn't remind me of him. everything else does.

it's interesting, because my grandpa was one of my FAVORITE things to photograph. i used him for countless school photography projects. 2 weeks before he died we went to Michigan. i must have taken 200 pictures of him alone. he was fascinating to me.
i think it's just become a little jaded. its like, so many times, his face was the one i saw when i looked through. and now it's gone, and nothing really matches up to it.

capturing anyone in that moment won't keep them there forever. nothing can. capturing the moment doesn't seem as special to me anymore, because the moment disappears anyways.

not to be a debbie downer. but tonight, lacy asked me about the picture's i'd taken in san francisco. i've been thinking about this (and other changes) a lot lately and felt like processing it. i dont want to do it aloud, so here i blog. i've also been up since 5am and am going on about 4 hours of sleep, so i might seem slightly emo.

on a happier note:
i haven't seen this mother trucker for almost a year. (my brother joe)

and i get to see him in like, 1 WEEK!
and i am very excited about it.

that's all i got for now. i'll put up the few pictures i have soon.
--mary kate

killing the blues.

2009-03-04T23:14:00.006-06:00

so here are a few things i've been doing lately whenever i get a little down:

1. go here. the granny's house blog. the most recent post is about jeanine. my little angel child.

2. look at my fridge. there is a most precious picture colored by ^^ jeanine. come over and i'll show you. tis beautiful.

3. watch "im on a boat"

4. think about spring break. only like, 2 weeks away. san fran and napa. yes puhlease.

5. listen to kelly clarkson, my life would suck without you. doesnt really apply to my life, but i love it.

6. listen to indelible grace. wake thy slumbering child. beautiful.

7. cry? effective. but causes other problems.

8. think about the fact that spring is almost here. but then get sad when it isn't really here.

9. think about decemeber. when i will be free. finally. holy sweet lord. come fast.

10. my favorite one. go to bed early. tonight it's 11:15. this is a later evening. i havent gone to bed past midnight in like, 2 weeks. it's beautiful.
it's amazing how much better i feel the next day. but i feel anti-social. i miss quite a bit of hang out time.

so tonight. none of the above have worked. so i'm doing the last one. peace.
-mary kate

(you guys should all go read the granny's house blog. only because jeanine is the cutest. then you can hear someone else rant about how fabulous she really is. so you will know i'm not making it up)

perez

2009-03-04T10:31:00.002-06:00

something a little funny.

granny's house. on perez.
what the hay?!

i emailed perez to see how he found out about us. so we shall see if he emails back. i will be a little disappointed in him if he doesn't

-mary kate

my valentines.

2009-02-17T22:55:00.001-06:00

these were my valentines this year.

probs.

2009-02-14T22:20:00.006-06:00

here are my current issues:

-there is fly buzzing around in my room.
-it's huge. i can't get it out.
-i dont want to kill it. that's gross
-i can't shoo it out the door because...
-i have my bedroom door shut and locked. IM NOT OPENING IT.
-IM FREAKED OUT. [i watched this scary 48 hours thing. about a murder. im a wimp]
-please dont come murder me.
-no one else is home. no one else is coming home soon [elise, come home soon??]

-my right cheek is bright red. (bain. i believe it's called the asian flush?)
-it's 10 oclock. im in bed. getting ready to watch heros. [not a huge problem with me. but i feel -like other people would think its a problem]
-my right foot is frozen. (only one half of me experiences physical problems.)

-i might have melanoma. (joking. but a little serious. i have to go to the doctor. should i be worried?) i have a mysterious spot/mole/color and shape changing itchy weird looking thing on my cheek.
-don't judge.
-all of my friends are out of town (except for a few. they are all in relationships or losers.)
-my throat hurts. my chest hurts from coughing so much. even when i am not coughing i feel like i need to.
-my teeth feel dirty because i have basically only eaten candy all day. or for the last 3 days.
-it's possible that i might not survive until thursday at 10 am (thats when i get to leave and go to kc)
-i really like lists.
-i want to graduate. today.
-i did homework on a saturday night.

i'm not really complaining. but today, i have lots of things i would like to talk about and no one to talk about them with. if i had a valentine, i would tell him. but i am valentine-less. so i am blogging about these small problems.

-mary kate

i never thought i'd be on a boat

2009-02-12T22:50:00.001-06:00

this might be the greatest thing i've ever seen.
watch it over. and over. and over.
-mary kate

spring

2009-02-10T23:36:00.004-06:00

so many things today made me happy for spring.

let me start from the morning
-waking up and not being cold (i was even slightly joyful).
-not walking on a cold floor in the kitchen.
-wearing flip flops to class
-not having to wear a coat
-wearing my stunna shades

afternoon

-walking home from class in the most PERFECT weather ever
-driving with my windows down
-still wearing flip flops
-how happy everyone was because of the beautiful weather
-granny's house in nice weather is SO much fun
-kids playing outside
-having dirty feet after 5 seconds at granny's house in flip flops. i got my toes stepped on like, 8 times
-rowdy children (crazy, but fun)
-kids not being cold and having to wear coats and losing gloves.
-people just seemed happier overall.
-my plant growing in the living room.

evening

-driving home with my windows down. AT NIGHT!
-tulips at wal-mart
-a beautiful sunset
-RAINY EVENING!
-wearing my rain coat over to bring jeff a heating pad and meds
-hearing the rain outside my window while going to bed (will happen shortly)

basically. i love spring. i hate winter. it brings me down
i know it won't last. tomorrow it's supposed to be colder. but today, i soaked it in.

at least i know there's hope at the end of the tunnel.

revolutionary road

2009-02-08T00:39:00.003-06:00

i just saw revolutionary rode. i can honestly say that was the most depressing two hours i've ever spent watching a movie.

don't get me wrong. it was great. very well done.
but utterly depressing.

firstly: i saw it by myself (my roommate said, "oh that's so carrie bradshaw of you!!" uh.. or loserish? independent? i think so). on a saturday night. after a long long day. already in a slightly sour mood.

second: i sort of lost faith in humanity. lost faith in suburbia. not that i had much faith in suburbia to begin with, but, either way. lost any ounce of it.

thirdly: it made life seem much more bleek. made me joyful, once again, for jesus

rotten tomato says: Brilliantly acted and emotionally powerful, Revolutionary Road is a handsome adaptation of Richard Yates' celebrated novel."
i would agree.

it's definitely no titanic.

jeanine.

2009-01-25T19:53:00.009-06:00

so. it's been like, a long time since i blogged. so here i am.
here's a funny story for the blogging community:

this is jeanine. she is one of my favorite people. ever. top 5.
(she's the girl from the video below.)

(this is the look she frequently gives. it's like she's saying, "what the heck are you doing? i am so much cooler than you. you are crazy", but in a cute, hilarious way.)

at first, she is one of the most reserved little children. she rarely gets in a funny mood. the video is one of the few times she has consistently acted silly.

she doesn't usually look happy. but she is one the most HILARIOUS people i've ever met. when she smiles, it's like the world shines.

i mean, she lights up my life. every day. i am basically obsessed with her. i think she is perfect.

so, friday i was helping jeanine with homework (one of my favorite things to do. she gets really silly and laughs a lot.) so we are nearing the end of the homework, so she is feeling particularly silly. she is sitting on my lap, and all the sudden just lets out a huge fart and just starts cracking up.
i scream and say JEANINE!! did you do that on purpose?
of course she did. she thought it was just about the funniest thing she had ever done.

we literally laughed for 10 minutes.
and i do not thinking farting is funny. ever. this was the only time.

it was one of the funniest moments ever and i thought the blogging community would enjoy it. especially BIZ (she just got a blog).
so. i hope you laughed. probably not because i am not a funny story teller. but i hope you enjoyed the cute pictures of jeanine. because she is the cutest, ever.

love, mary katherine.

lovey

2008-12-16T18:33:00.001-06:00

on a happier note:

this is the most perfect child God ever created.

love, mary kate

it's christmas time, so open up the flood gates

2008-12-14T00:02:00.006-06:00

"This is my winter song.
december never felt so wrong,
cause you're not where you belong"

alright so here it goes, the depressing holiday season entry. sorry. it had to happen at some point. and today has been one of the longest and most emotionally draining in many months.
i'm already on the breaking point of emotions, why not look at old christmas pictures and cry? they say it's healthy.

that being said, this is the point in the year when i just want to scream: what the eff.
the last few days have just been a whirlwind of emotions. so will the next 2 weeks.
the first christmas without him. i took these pictures last year at christmas.
what? how is it already here? im not ready.

he was the most precious thing to me. and where the hell is he?

brandi carlile words it well:

"It's right about Christmas time
Thinking about moving on
I think I might die inside"

this was the time of year i have been dreading. if i can just make it through christmas, ill be okay.i feel so aimless. like my heart has just become empty. my emotions are intensely amplified. like my heart has been taken apart. i could ignore it some of the time. now i can't. i feel this intense pain inside. today it has manifested into physical pain. so if i'm a little gloomy, i apologize. i am overcome with grief.

i know jesus was born. obviously. which is the only thing keeping me in christmas this year. so let's just celebrate the fact that jesus was born, and try to forget all the other parts about that day. focus on jesus.

"I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted."
later in the chapter he says this:
"You have rescued me. I will tell of your name to my brothers. in the midst of the congregation I will praise you."
-psalm 22

i'm going to focus on that. and try to block everything else out. all the pain and sadness.

that's all i got. hopefully the next christmas entry will be better.

love, mary kate

pack a change of clothes, because it's time to move on

2008-12-06T21:34:00.014-06:00

here is a small collage of some hilarity.

these are some of my favorite pictures(of some of my favorite people) i have found in my photobooth.

smile. i promise i will too.
-marz.

the best day.

2008-11-10T10:20:00.016-06:00

halloween is the best granny's house day ever.

i feel like i should probably just change my blog into the i love granny's house blog. i mean, are there any cuter, more perfect children in the whole world? i don't think so.

enjoy.

love, mary kate

i wanna jump from this ship of fools

2008-10-31T00:44:00.004-05:00

sometimes this world overwhelms me. it is one big freakin mess.

when i really think about it. the little problems. the big problems.

no political figure can save us.

barack obama is not the second coming of jesus christ.

im sure most of you know, he came to columbia today.

it was mass freakin chaos.

i did not attend. mainly because i hate large groups of people.

so i cannot help but be thankful for Jesus.

i am putting my hope in him. not in politics.

they cannot fix the world. it is an absolute sick nasty mess.

this world has nothing for me.

thank you Jesus.

whenever i'm feeling particularly helpless, i watch this joyous video. it is absolutely beautiful.

watch it and smile.

after a night of political discussion, i need some hope.

if that does not warm your heart, you have no soul.

i think there will be precious african girls running around heaven, laughing all day.

love, mary kate

soapy marg

2008-10-21T22:18:00.005-05:00

so tonight, my roomie elise (the one in the middle)

and i made margaritas. a nice experience and one we like to do on some evenings.

so i'm sitting here just now, sippin on my marg. and i taste something weird, and bubbly.

soap.

sick.

apparently the soap was not cleaned out of my class very well, because it was a mix of lime and *apple* soap.

gew.

i feel like that is just the way life has been latel

the little things are just all goin nuts. the big things are going nuts. as they have been for a while.

but when the little things go nuts, oh boy. that's when i lose it!

a soapy marg is not a good marg.

i don't really have a purpose to this post, only to rant about my soapy margarita.

and to rant about the crappiness that is the world.

if you need a good laugh. watch this show.

i promise. you will not regret it.

you will chuckle for many years to come.

-marz.

go visible.

2008-10-07T01:41:00.003-05:00

so today i discovered something. the ability to go "invisible" on gmail chat.

it's interesting. i am currently invisible. it says,

"mary kate loring

you are invisible

go visible?"

after noticing this, i was thinking. what if life was just like that.

you could just click a little button and bam. invisible.

i could just go about my merry way without any bothers.

then if i saw someone i wanted to talk to, i could just click "go visible" then it would all be good.

that would be convenient.

i would very much enjoy that.

i guess that is part of my statement with my bangs.

if my bangs are down. do not talk to me.

ha! just kidding. i just kinda like them.

emily lewis, you should probably watch that.

enjoy.
=)

2008-09-30T21:05:00.010-05:00

can i just say, i had many lovely things happen in the last 24 hours

- BEN FREAKIN FOLDS

first and foremost. new album. ah!

- meredith and i just met chase daniel. we are filming him tomorrow at 5:30. our video skit will be complete. finally.

- i had a class canceled, and both of my other two classes were basically worthless. so i was done with class at 10:30

-i got 2 lunches for the price of one and laughed A LOT at lunch. more than i have ever laughed.

- i got my hurr did. i have bangs. real bangs. this is my emo statement to the world. and now my hair is soft and smells delightful. and i got new shampoo. it smells like mint!

-i went to my grandpa's house and did not cry. it's the little victories, right?

- check this out. part one

i dare you not to cry. part two.

the last part.

yeah boy. that was in the newspaper.

i mean, look at the joy on her face.

the articles and the pictures are PHENOMINAL. way to go julia!

- i finished a paper. i still have many to go.

- i get to sleep in tomorrow.

-i spent time with basically all of my favorite people today. minus a few.

- i have a night to myself. for the first time in ever.

- i have the most darling, precious, beautiful, wonderful, perfect young life girls in the whole entire world.

-i have the most great monday night bible study ever. vag. for life.

- i have seen the lord's faithfulness for the first time in 3 months.

"though the fig tree does not bud, and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop falls and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, lest i will rejoice in the LORD. I will be joyful in God my savior. The soverign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights" -habakkuk 3:17-19

im learning to take life one day at a time.

(also, check this out. she just put it up. its an audio slide show. its AMAZING!!!)

my calling in life.

2008-09-28T23:43:00.010-05:00

i think i've missed my calling in life.

a runway model.

(GAHH!! that DRESS! oscar de la renta!)

i could walk around in fabulous garb every fashion week.

and look angry.

easy, right?

i would only have to lose like, 40 pounds. and grow like, 5 inches.

and get lots of plastic surgery.

do-able, right? ha!!

then i could be friends with him.

or i could be like MIA, in the spring 2008 ad.

oh me oh my.

riddle me this.

2008-09-05T12:31:00.003-05:00

riddle me this.
why have i just now found out about a fine frenzy.

omg.
if she was a man, i would marry her.
i feel like she is singing the songs of my heart.
oh goodness me!

what an exciting development!

little lights.

2008-08-18T01:10:00.007-05:00

watch this lovely documentary.

i have funny friends. they are my little lights.

and a most beautiful little girl that has returned to brightened up my days again.

it's the little things that are getting me through.
keep being my friend, please. ill be better eventually. not so grumpy.
im just hurting. i didn't know i could love this much. it seems to makes things hurt more than i thought they could. every section of my life seems to be falling apart.
ill be back soon enough. hopefully sooner rather than later.

-mary kate

wink.

2008-07-28T19:30:00.008-05:00

its weird for me to look at my last post, and see where things are now.
for those of you that don't know, my grandpa died on tuesday of last week, the 22nd.
i cant look that last post without feeling like i'm going to throw up.
he was one of the most important people in my whole world.
he loved me in a way that reflects how Jesus loves me.

i have never experienced loss this deep. i've never hurt this badly. it is a constant pain. and i know it cannot be relieved. i didn't know i could hurt this much.
there is nothing in the entire world i can do to fix this.
i am just so deeply sad. and i feel like no one understands. except for my mom and brothers.

i dont really want to write about it. that makes it too real. and that is too hard.
i probably won't want to talk about it either.
i just felt i was due for an update.
i also had a birthday. thanks for all the phone calls and text messages and emails.
i probably didn't return them. if i did, you are one of the lucky ones.

its amazing how many people have rallied around me in this time. i have gotten so much support from all of my friends. people have been so great. so thanks for that.

i dont have anything insightful to put up.
i wish i had something positive. but im still hurting a lot. the tears wont seem to stop.
i find very bad ways of numbing myself. i just dont really know how to respond.
i havent been grieving the way i thought i would.
i don't talk about it. but i think that's okay. i dont really know though.

looking at pictures doesn't hurt, at this moment. because this can't really be happening in my head. i could just drive over to his house and he will be sitting in his chair in his bedroom or out on the porch.
he's not supposed to leave me. he's supposed to be here. to take care of me and tell me how much he loves me.

i know i'll be ok in time. because he is with Jesus. that is way better. i just miss him.
he's not in pain. it was quick. he knew we loved him.
i just don't know columbia without him. he can't really be gone.
it just doesn't seem right.
my little world has been shattered. it's interesting to see how things have been put in perspective. i know people always say that, but it has really shown me a lot. things just don't seem that important anymore.

im just not ready to let go.

miss you papa.

say yes! to m!ch!gan

2008-07-14T00:37:00.027-05:00

i took a little family vacay to the great state of michigan.
i will now show you all about my trip.

i would like to start by showing off my brother's awesome bike hair.

finger painting.

"If the lakes took
The place of the sea
If the cars drove themselves
Way to be!
Opposite the trains moving in
Rivers run interstate, Michigan!"

(I wish i could make this bigger. but then it won't fit.)

i put up with a lot of shenangians.
i got a huge bruise on my arm. thanks to samantha.
that is my fabulous trip in a photographic nutshell.
-mk

beast?

2008-07-10T22:37:00.005-05:00

here i am. in michigan. today i decided, "I think i'll go for a little bike ride"

no. it was not little.

i rode 16 mo freakin miles around the lake.
up a hill that was probably over a mile long.
and i am alive to tell you all about it.
i nearly died, but i did not perish.

i made it. (thanks to stronger, by britney spears. that came on just at the right moment. at the end of the monster hill)

i have limited internet access, but i felt this post was necessary.

i biked around this mofo.

i pretty much can do anything now. bring it on world. i will dominate you
more to come later. ill be back in como sunday night. let's hang.

love, a very tan/buff version of the mary loring you once knew.

oh ohhhhhhhhhhhh!

2008-07-03T10:31:00.005-05:00

so, today was the last day of my class. my 4 week class. it's over....! horray!
which also means (my) summer is basically all over the place from now on. i've been in columbia all of june.
friday i go home, saturday i go to michigan! my favorite place in the whole world. then im back for a week, then i go to k(ids) a(cross) a(merica). then i'm back for another 5 days, then i go to young life camp.

so anyways.
i was doing a little searching today.
and i found this.

i think it's amazing. look at minute 3:31
heart wrenching. i feel like they are really in love.
some day, some man will woo me like chris brown.
i love chris brown.
this video is in honor of biz.

okay. see you all in a week and a half.

-mk

daughters of the soho riots

2008-06-27T13:15:00.002-05:00

gahhhhhh!!!!!!

why i love comet with bleach.

2008-06-26T10:47:00.020-05:00

okay. so i've been thinking a lot lately.

public restrooms: one of the many reasons it pays to be a dude.

let's critically think about this.
GROSS!
for girls, we have to sit where someone else just sat. and everybody knows where you are going. it's like, i'm going pee. and if we think about the act of peeing, it is not necessarily an open and appropriate thing.
and its a freaking public restroom. Ew!

toilets at homes are not as bad. but at boys houses, sometimes it's pretty gross. i have had many a conversation about this. a friend recently said, "i mean, i hate going to the bathroom there!! i'm afraid someone is going to walk in or something!"

as children, we are potty trained.
it is generally an exciting time.

i mean, these kids look so happy. the last one looks a little scared, but still cute.

however. when i was a child (sweet hair, huh?) i refused to use public restrooms.

this probably doesn't surprise most of you, but i had my own "special potty"

it looked something like that, except it was pink. when we would go on trips, i would use that potty. i would not use public restrooms. i would only use my pink potty. my mom would set it somewhere in the front of the mini-van and i would just go there. then my mom would take care of things after that.
this may explain more about me. why i am the way i am =)
ha! and i am still repulsed by public restrooms. i cringe even thinking about them.

some interesting public restrooms:

my personal favorite.
scared asian child.

there is a restroom in houston, texas. you cannot see in it, but they can see out at you.

amazing??!
i think so.

--mary kate

you said i must eat so many lemons, cause i am so bitter

2008-06-19T10:31:00.016-05:00

(i said i'd rather be with your friends, mate, cause they are much fitter)

accents + people + singing.
equals = my favorite thing EVER.

kate nash: merry happy. nicest thing. mouthwash

lily allen: littlest things. alfie.

charlene soraia (a new discovery, thank you emily lewis): daffodils. kissing gate. i don't believe you.

kings of convenience: I'd rather dance with you. homesick. cayman islands

missy higgins: peachy. 100 round the bends.

teeheeee

jose gonzalez: heartbeats. lovestain.

regina spektor: samson. the call. summer in the city.

broken social scene: time=cause. anthems for a seventeen year old girl. shampoo suicide. pitter patter goes my heart.

feist: secret heart. the park. honey honey. how my heart behaves

new pornographers: all the old showstoppers. twin cinema. the bleeding heart show. the jessica numbers. these are the fables

yael naim: new soul. too long. toxic.

the knife: heartbeats (if you have never heard this song. listen to it NOW!). silent shout

(creepy picture)

basically not from here.
i love you.
please sing to me.

don't they just look way cooler?
i think so.

--mary kate katherine.

2008-06-14T23:58:00.003-05:00

i am home this weekend. and one of my friends told me about this guy.
he's super awkward.

but i kinda love him.
and i really love this song.

thoughts?
-mk

ps. his name is brett dennen.

2008-06-05T00:32:00.015-05:00

hi oh.
lately, i've been thinking a lot about the word "glorious".

dictionary.com defines glorious as:
delightful; wonderful; completely enjoyable
or
brilliantly beautiful or magnificent; splendid.

this may seem like an odd thing to be thinking about. but here goes my explanation

the situation that i have been a part of is a glorious story of redemption. it is something that can only have been done by God. he has shown me his face in a time when i needed a glimpse of him so badly.
it has involved intense humility displayed by beautiful girls who are finally understanding Jesus. they are displaying his grace and it is absolutely inspiring to witness. and the more i watch, the more glory i see. i feel like this sounds so dramatic, but it has been a really dramatic turn of events! but such an exciting thing
this is BRILLIANTLY BEAUTIFUL!
it is absolutely glorifying.
(i can tell you the whole story if you really want to know, not in blog world)

i feel like we really underestimate the power of the word glorious, or even the glory. i find myself looking for ways to give him glory, or see his glory. i guess i've been looking too hard. and sometimes its still hard to see it.

1 Peter 1:8
Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,

Philippians 3:20-21
But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

Isaiah 12:5
Sing to the LORD, for he has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world.

Ephesians 1:18
I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints.

francis schaeffer calls us a "glorious ruin"

sometimes i am not very good with my words. so to me, here are some more glorious things.

(obviously =) i had to put them somewhere. all the cute little giggles.)

love, mary kate katherine.

anf.

2008-05-26T23:32:00.006-05:00

i really don't have a purpose for this entry, only to put some special photos.
i feel some of you will really appreciate these.

anfernee and i had a little video chat.

i like jeffs face in the last one. ha!!

they are pretty dark, but i thought they were cute. and funny. he was a little confused i think. i kept making funny noises.

--mk

a good day.

2008-05-22T23:54:00.018-05:00

i had a good day. i genuinely good day.
the best day.
did lots of fun things.
saw a lot of my favorite people.
it rained (great) and then it was sunny (also great).

aaand, i took some pictures of my favorite little people.

ah!

i mean, is that not the sweetest face you've ever seen?
ever?? look at that smile.

i am happy. this is where i see his beauty.

bake?

2008-05-14T00:55:00.008-05:00

so i am done. my junior year is over.

weird, eh?

i mean, technically, i am a senior in college. what the frick.

i had my last final at 1:00 today. it was very strange. but at least it's over.

i've had a very weird day. a large range of emotions.

and to end it with an exhilarating episode of gossip girl with soph and phil (if you don't watch it, OH GOSH. watch it now)

when i am stressed, i like to buy books.

i could walk around barnes and noble for hours.

monday afternoon i went and bought three books:

running with scissors

if i am missing or dead (which apparently, part of it is set in COMO!)

apples for jam

possibly the cutest cook book ever.

it has the most fun recipes. they are arranged by color.

and it has really fun pictures. im really excited to cook from it.

if you want food. i would like to cook you something from my fun new book.

if you are stressed and hungry.

call me.

i'm baking tomorrow. muffins and cookies for some of my finaled friends.

hopefully they will be lovely.

i don't really have much to say, i just felt that this was a monumental day, thus, i am documenting it.

i would like to put a fun video. but i have nothing.

so i'm ending it.

happy summer everyone.

-ary may ate kay.

brother for sale.

2008-05-08T01:56:00.001-05:00

mk and a.

in my childhood, i loved them. as i grew, my disdain grew, everyone always asking "where's ashley". thinking they were SO original.

they had lots of songs and movies.

this was my personal favorite.

the first time i heard this song, it went straight for my heart.

i said, "THIS IS HOW I FEEL!"

i was probably 5. i remember when i first got their tape.

it was like all of my feelings wrapped up in a song.

it's pretty much the story of my life. it is what i wanted to do. i seriously considered doing this.

somehow getting rid of my brother. i literally sat there in my living room, listening to this song over and over thinking of some way to do this.

more so with one brother than the other.

he was a quite a pain.

i feel like this song pretty much sums everything up.

now he's okay, but he was pretty bad up until a few years ago.

the other was not so annoying.

i thought this was quite funny when i found this video on you tube. plus i really like videos.

so here it is. you should probably watch the whole thing, it's pretty incredible.

so sam, this goes out to you. i don't want to sell you anymore. but thanks for ruining my childhood.

--mk (not a)

oops.

2008-05-02T23:06:00.000-05:00

well now i feel like a jerk for ranting about the tv.

there was a legit tornado.

here's a funny video though. zach's video inspired me to post this.

anyone who knows/loves/dates any one of us should really appreciate this work of art. its pretty incredible.

i was watching it last night and remembered how much i love my little conk a lonk ba donk a donk

so this one goes out to you girl. i hope you remember the good old days.

--mk

a woman's right to shoes

2008-04-27T22:02:00.000-05:00

"the fact is, sometimes it's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes. That's why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun."

--carrie bradshaw

i've been thinking. after two bridal showers within 30 hours, one starts to think about weddings.

brides get all these presents. which is great. i'm happy to give my married friends presents.

and if people have babies. that's all fun.

but what if i never get married? or never have babies?

will i get presents?

no.

at this rate, it looks like i'll graduate college. move into my own home, and have to buy myself things that normal married people would get given to them. marriages are celebrated, as they should be.

but what about singleness? i will not be celebrated for being single.

i will get no gifts for moving into my own home.

i don't get to register for all the things in the world.

don't get me wrong, i'm more than happy to buy my nice married friends things. but will i ever get presents? nope.

someone suggested a house warming party. this is not nearly as cool. people dont want to bring presents to a house warming party.

there is an episode of sex and the city about this. it's called a woman's right to shoes.

let me give you a summary. carrie goes to a baby shower and the woman makes her take her shoes off. someone steals them, this woman refuses to buy carrie new shoes. they are

not just any shoes. they are like, 600$

silver manolo blahnik (the bmw of shoes).

they are simply fabulous.

so carrie is thinking, and realizes how much money she has spent on this woman over the years of wedding and baby showers. it was something like 1500$. and yet, this woman has never bought carrie anything. so carrie points this out, her friend still refuses.

so carrie decides to register at manolo blahnik for the pair of shoes.

this is where we leave off. start the clip at 45 seconds

pretty much the most amazing thing ever. as single women, this is like redemption.

i mean really, is it fair?

"I am thinking about the single gal. Hallmark doesn't make a "congratulations you didn't marry the wrong guy" card. And where's the flatware for going on vacation alone?!"

so true. anyways. those are my thoughts. here are some pictures of baked goods.

i made red velvet cake balls (blended red velvet cake and cream cheese icing), froze them with a stick in them, and dipped them in chocolate.

and i made cupcakes with fondant roses. i think they were cute.

well. thats about all i have to say.

---mary kate

2008-04-22T00:11:00.000-05:00

"As the mountains surround Jerusalem,

so the Lord surrounds his people,

from this time forth and forevermore."

--psalm 125:25

"Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;

I will PROTECT him, because he knows my name."

--psalm 91:14

scripture clearly tells us God will protect us. but where is he now?

i've been beating around this for months. finally saying it aloud.

i can't seem to find him.

i can scream, yell, and cry until i can do it no more, and i have.

i think i am out of tears. out of thoughts.

my head hurts from it all.

it's not even fighting for me.

where is he? they are not protected. they are not safe.

they do not know him, how could they? i guess that's where we come in, right?

that's what everyone keeps saying it.

lately i think thats a cop out. i think that is crap. sometimes i think its all pointless.

the suffering continues, and they endure.

they don't even know they are doing it.

but God makes promises of protection.

he will keep them safe.

i can read my bible for 3 hours and not get any answers.

maybe this isn't something that can be solved.

it just seems to be one thing after another. piling on. levels of my heart hardening on top of one another. quicker and quicker.

there are small moments of joy, but they are few, and getting fewer. i'm about to break.

i can look at that perfect little face and see such drastic angles. a little glimpse of God, and then the most awful and painful suffering.

i feel like the world is on top of my shoulders.

it really was on jesus' shoulders. all the time.

that thought it keeping me going.

i wish my heart was different. it would be so much easier, i wouldn't have to feel these burdens.

i've been told it's a blessing, i disagree right now.

i want him to save them, and me. i'm begging. crying out.

and yet i'm still in the same place. i thought i'd given it up.

i dont really have anyone to talk this through with. hence the blog.

i need some answers. probably only ones god can give me.

but i'm listening. and still not hearing anything.

it was on my mind. and my people resources seem minimal. they've all been paired off. so i am blogging about it.

thoughts...?

sorry i'm so sad, mk

bed?

2008-04-21T01:50:00.001-05:00

this is my blanket. it sits on the end of my bed every day.

i lay it across my bed before i go to bed every night.

i probably fold and unfold this bed 3 times a day.

it is my favorite blanket in all the world. it's one of those really freakishly soft ones.

its excellent for snuggling. in all hours of the day.

the logical thing to do would be to just put it under my comforter. make it a part of my actual bedding.

but no. not me. i like to make things difficult.

i have the same habits every day. every night. to get ready for bed i do the exact same thing, every single night. put my pillows in exactly the same order. in the same places.

this is pinky.

i just took this picture of him

i sleep with him. i have ever i was like, 2.

my best friend merrell and i got the same stuffed animal.

hers was pink, mine was yellow.

we named them both pinky. pinky has been good to me.

he is also excellent for snuggling.

i have a very difficult time sleeping without pinky tucked under my arm.

well, i just really like bed, and soft snugly things. so i thought i would share some of my thoughts with all of you.

time for me to go to bed.

-mary kate

baked goods.

2008-04-13T23:49:00.000-05:00

i wasn't sure what to write about. the serious blog didn't go over too well so here i go. on something i love very much.

ok here we go. i absolutely love baking.

all things. as i'm sure most of you know, i can't have any dairy. i am lactose intolerant. and i love sugar. so i was like, frick. now i cant have anything good and delicious.

FALSE!

i have recently discovered the joys of vegan baking.

my roommates and friends can attest. i bake all the freakin time.

this weekend i baked peanut butter bombs. basically chocolate peanut butter cookies with little peanut butter balls inside them. incredibly rich, but delicious.

study. bake. study study study. bake. cook dinner. bake. study. study. study study.

that = my weekend

i do not discriminate. i bake all things.

it is therapeutic.

really.

if you want some sweets. call me.

i am addicted to sugar.

i made this one time. it was like heaven. it was the most delicious thing ever. (not my picture, same cake though)

you would think that something without dairy or eggs would not be good. false. the recipes i have discovered have been the greatest deserts ever.

my next bake is going to be these little lemon Poppy seed muffins. aren't they the cutest things ever?!!??

okay so i'm taking requests. it's going to be a stressful week so i will need to bake. tell me what you want. if there are special ingredients, buy them for me. otherwise, i'm open to suggestions.

--mary kate

debbie downer. weh weh wehhhhhh

2008-04-09T02:19:00.000-05:00

i don't really have a purpose for this post. but here goes.

i've been thinking a lot lately. about lots of different things. i just don't feel like my mind is ever settled.

basically i'm just sick of being in a constant state of uncertainty. it's like, there is ALWAYS something. always. every moment. it's either this or that and i'm never really settled. i always think, "tomorrow i will be normal."

nope.

but sometimes, when i too comfortable in all my stuff, things just get worse. then its back to crazy again. then someone has to come save me.

im sick of people trying to saving me. i won't just let God save me. im too freakin stubborn.

obviously it never works to have someone else save me.

i dont even get it. sometimes i can give it all up. but then i can just grab back for an instant and it takes me back 5 steps.

music. lets talk about music.

sometimes, people sing things better than i can say them.

"i need to be reminded of who I was when I took that first step out the door

All i said now follows me around

I'm reminded i'm not like that anymore.

isn't that just like a finite mind

setting out with such righteous indignation

but now i'm at your feet

could you look at me with some imagination?

so remind me why you woke me up

and why you wake me every morn

the staff in your hand

held in by your love

just stay close. stay close.

because i know my own mind

i set out with righteous indignation

but when i'm at your feet

please look at me with imagination"

basically. i'm frustrated. in every aspect of my life.

with myself more than anything. with others. with god.

i can bake until i'm blue in the face, it only temporarily removes the frustration (funny, but true)

i am continually let down, and broken.

tonight at bible study we were talking about suffering. i feel like in my life, i have not been through very much suffering. but this point was brought up: the suffering you feel is the only suffering that you know. and it seems the worst that you know. even though i don't have huge family problems or blah blah, my suffering is still valid, because it is all i know. i shouldn't try to lessen it.

lately, i've been witnessing a lot of suffering. in every area of my life, most of it not even impacting me directly. i have not dealt with it. i have pushed it to the back and become bitter. about everything. i have completely shut down and thought my feelings were illegitimate. i understand that my frustrations are real, but that does not solve the problem.

that doesn't bring their family back together. that doesn't mend their hearts. that doesn't get them out of that abusive home. it doesn't stop them (or me) from sinning. it won't keep him on this earth any longer. it does not make that sweet little face unscarred.

that is the hardest thing for me. letting go of control. it makes me see a tiny bit of what jesus sees, a little bit of what he feels, how he loves.

i'm not sure how his heart hasn't exploded. because mine is about to.

but i know he loves them all so much more than i do, that's the only thing that's keeping me from running.

this is me being incredibly vulnerable to my little blog friends out there. i haven't talked about any of this until tonight

i miss this little face. so much.

i guess i get these perfect little ones in the mean time, though

the most beautiful little girls in alllll the world.

on that note, i'm off to my freshly washed sheets, one of my favorite thing.

it's the little things, right?

--mary kate boring.

(spring break) in the city

2008-04-01T23:45:00.000-05:00

well. i just signed my life away. in a really exciting way though.

i just acknowledged my acceptance into the school of social work. i got into the program (not a challenge, but baby i did it). now i just sign the paper and send it back.

i feel like i'm finally where i belong. it's quite exciting!!

so anways, went to nyc. had a lovely time. ate lovely food. saw my lovely family. i basically only took pictures with my new lens. so here are a few:

dairy free cupcakes!

from the cutest little vegan bakery!

manolos ma-no-no's i can't tell em

(name that rap song)

brother.

the beautiful couple.

cabbie.

funny buildings.

whoa.

thats about it. its taking too long to put any more on. so. it was a fabulous trip.

now i'm back. to reality. the good and the bad.

i am on like, 7 hours of sleep in the last two nights.

i had a total of 5 espresso shots today.

plus to coffee. what the heck.

my body is aching. plus i'm a little dizzy.

and its time for bed. hopefully.

maybe ill write more later.

-mary kate katherine

feeeeeeshy

2008-03-24T23:35:00.001-05:00

i think this might be the coolest thing ever.

not that picture in itself, but the effect. WHOA!

today i got a fisheye lens! not the lens itself, but something i put on the end of my lens, and it makes this happen.

on wednesday i'm going to new york city. so i can take much cooler pictures. of things other than my dogs.

anyways. i'm just very excited about this.

here is my dog. to leave you all.

little pupper. he looks funny!!

okay. that's really all i have. i'll have cooler pics after sunday. more of a variety =)

-mary kate

bookling.

2008-03-15T00:48:00.002-05:00

marta said i needed to update. and i do. so here i go

today, i got to just sit and read. for pleasure. not for class or something stupid.
i'm reading the bell jar, by sylvia plath.
it was glorious. i read for 2 hours, then took a nap.
i haven't taken a nap in foreverrr!

the next book on my list:

the unabridged journals of sylvia plath.
i'm on a sylvia plath kick. thank you emily lewis.
its a rather depressing note, but i'm enjoying it.

on a more colorful note. oscar de la renta. spring 2008. o.m.g.

check out that detail. ooh bay bay bay bay!

you guys probably don't care. but i do. and this is my blog. so there! ha.

so anyways. i was reading the bell jar, and she said something. it isn't like this huge monumental thing, but it made me think.

she had just started hanging out with this guy and she gets envious with him talking about someone else, and she says:

"I decided to expect nothing from Buddy Willard. If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed."

a rather sucky thought, but it's true, isn't it? i feel like i always go into situations with these high expectations. maybe they are unrealistic, but i don't really think they are. i think over and over again, maybe this will be the time it changes. and it never really does. thinking this one conversation is going to do the trick, or this one action is going to affect it all. and does it ever? not really. but what does? what can change things?

but when is it all going to change? when are they going to realize the destruction that they cause to themselves? when am i going to stop being such a huge brat? when will things be right?

never. and i need to just deal with it. i need to be CONTENT with situations. with my relationships with people, and their relationships with God. they aren't really the ones in control are they? it's all they know to be destructive. it's all they've ever been shown. i can't be disappointed in them if they have no clue, can i? but i continually am. i think mostly because it breaks my heart. it makes me hurt inside to see people living in such pain. but i am i any better? do i get to look down on them because i SEEM to have it all together, when really i don't? i should be disappointed in myself, and i am. i just don't let it show, and i try to suppress it. tell myself i am good enough.

but it is about being good enough? i don't even know. i can't find the balance, and i am so worn out from trying. i can't expect nothing out of myself, that is not practical. i would not get anything done. but i expect too much i just beat myself up.

but can i expect nothing out of everyone else? what state would my relationships be in? they would fall apart. or would they? but they always let me down anyways.

i guess it all boils down to really being content with where i am. such is the problem. i'm working on it. its getting better, but i think it's something we all struggle with. right now, the only thing i can see is graduation. over a year and a half away. ha! i just want to be at granny's house, every day, loving kids, having that be my real life. not having school. having the kids. loving the kids! it is such a joy!

anyway. i'm going to go read myself to sleep.

i'll peace out on a happy note.

what if i wore this, would you still be my friend??

tee hee hee

--mary kate

cake.

2008-03-08T23:11:00.000-06:00

when i get stressed weird things happen.

i bake. lots of baking. i've made 2 cakes in like, 3 days. let me know if you want some cake. i've eaten too much cake.

too much cakeeeeee.

i cook, also. tonight i made a chicken, asparagus, barley dish with white wine. it was tasty.

i yell. or i cry. sorry if you've been to recipient of either of these emotions. you probably didn't deserve it. but maybe you did.

today at kaldi's i nearly had a freak out. but then i realized that life was going to be okay. but then last night, i was in a great mood.

stress= me being moody.

i apologize if you get the bad, but if you get the good, you get the food.

for spring break, i'm going to new york city.

i get to see this lovely couple.

aren't they beautifulllllll

this is my biggest brother sam, he looks very disinterested in this picture. this pretty much describes our relationship. he acts like he hates me. but really, he loves me.

sam and niki recently got engaged, so this will be the first time i see them as an engaged couple!!! i am SO excited. i have not been this excited for anything in quite a while.

it is really the only thing that is getting me through the next 5 days. because they are going to be awful.

but. this it not about complaining =)

i don't really know what else to write. so... that's all i got. especially since we all lose an hour of sleep tonight. ahhhhhh!!

-ary may ate kay.

btw. ben folds. kc. april 5th.

come with meeeee???!??!!!

fierce.

2008-03-05T23:52:00.000-06:00

here is a tribute. to christian siriano. project runway winner. anything to put off studying, right?

you are fabulous. and fierce.

i have the feeling i'm going to be putting a lot of pictures up here. because i like them.

whose ready for spring??!!! ME ME ME!

i'm ready for hippie shows, and front porches. and hanging out and not studying. and the sun not deceiving me, thinking its warm.

spring (break)? come here.

now.

--mary kate

love love love

2008-03-01T23:19:00.000-06:00

so i've decided to start this blog. i'm not sure how it's going to work, but i'm gonna give it a try the last 24 hours have been some of the most memorable in quite a while. i spent last night going to see Shakespeare's romeo and juliet with some of the greatest girls in my life. one of whom has become a new woman.

i hadn't seen her in at least 3 months, and when we last saw each other, it was not on good terms. but she comes back, and god has graciously taken her back. she's like a new person, he has truly redeemed her. it is glorious.

then i woke up this morning, with very little sleep, to go to saint louis with some of my favorite kids to see the body world exhibit. this is one of the freakiest things i've ever seen.

i'm sure you've all (whoever the heck is reading this) heard of it, but its basically just dead bodies, with the skin off. you can see the muscles and it is amazing. i spent all day doing this, and it was one of the most exhausting things ever. i was gone all day, then came home and it is great to be here.

even though i am so physically and mentally worn out, i am so encouraged. i've been starting to line things up for after graduation (which granted, isn't for almost 2 years), and i am so confident with the direction i am heading.

after spending almost 14 out of the last 24 hours with them, i am even more confident that this is where i'm supposed to be.

so anyways. i'm tired. so i'm going to bed at 11:30 on a saturday night

but here's to the little faces i love